Stupid Cyst

On Thursday, Tom and I went in for our cd2 Ultrasound. Unfortunately, I have a substantial cyst on my right ovary. So we will not be having fertility treatment this cycle. For those of you not familiar with corpus luteums cysts here is some information :

An ovarian cyst is a collection of fluid within the ovary that is surrounded by a thin wall. Many types of ovarian cysts exist, and many do not exhibit any symptoms. Ovarian cysts can be small or large in size but usually range from pea-sized to grapefruit-sized.

Most ovarian cysts are harmless and benign. They can occur in women of any age but most often affect women who are in their childbearing years. Some ovarian cysts can rupture, bleed or cause pain and may need to be removed through surgery.

One type of ovarian cyst is the corpus luteum cyst. A corpus luteum cyst occurs when an egg is released from the follicle. Usually this type of ovarian cyst is found during a pregnancy ultrasound or during a routine pelvic exam.
Corpus Luteum Cyst in Pregnancy & Conception
Corpus luteum cysts form after an egg is released from the follicle, which then releases the hormones progesterone and estrogen that prepare the body for pregnancy. If no pregnancy occurs, the corpus luteum will most likely break down and disappear on its own.

Women who are on birth control pills usually do not form corpus luteum cysts, as birth control pills prevent ovulation.

If pregnancy does occur with a corpus luteum cyst in existence, the pregnancy will most likely not be prevented or impeded in any way. In fact, certain fertility drugs that induce ovulation actually increase the appearance of corpus luteum cysts.
Symptoms of Corpus Luteum Cysts
A corpus luteum cyst is typically round and fluid-filled, ranging in size from 2 centimeters to 6 centimeters or more in diameter.

Most often, corpus luteum cysts will not cause any symptoms. They will occur at the end of a women's menstrual cycle, last into the early stages of pregnancy and then slowly resolve themselves without complication or treatment by the time the second trimester arrives.

However, in some cases a corpus luteum cyst may expand by filling with blood or liquid and attach itself to the ovary. The corpus luteum cyst may still exhibit no symptoms, but in some cases may grow, bleed or twist the ovary. This may cause pain in the pelvis or the abdomen and may require surgery.

Corpus luteum cysts also have the potential to rupture, which would cause sudden and sharp pain and some internal bleeding.

Women with corpus luteum cysts should not be concerned unless extreme pain or bleeding occurs. Most symptoms are mild or non-existent. However, if you experience serious symptoms, seek emergency care.

In most cases of corpus luteum cysts, everyday activities can still be maintained and the woman's life will not be affected. Some medical professionals may recommend avoiding sex until the corpus luteum cyst has resolved itself, because sex may cause a corpus luteum cyst to rupture.

Discussing any questions or concerns with a medical professional is the best way to understand a corpus luteum cyst and to be aware of any activities that you should or should not be doing.

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it. ~ Moliere

Another cycle bites the dust...

I didn't want to keep you all in suspense I tested this evening after work, it was .... NEGATIVE (again). I had Tom read the results I just couldn't bare to see it for myself although I new what the outcome would be -this amongst many other times in the same situation I wish that I were wrong.

Tom and I are going to continue with IUI's until we find out for sure what is going on with his company's closure which is supposed to be in the end of June - this seems like the most financially responsible thing for us to do. Our office has an IVF seminar each month so I believe that we might attend it this month, we would like to educate ourselves in case this is what God has planned for us in our journey to parenthood. I hope it doesn't come down to it but I would like us to be prepared anyhow.

Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength ~Unknown

I am back...

I know I have been MIA but please don’t send out the search party just yet. I have been super busy and apologize for not keeping you all updated on our journey! Here is a not so quick update on me, and where we are now in trying to conceive…

So I believe I left off in November. The day after Thanksgiving my good friend and co-worker passed away. It was a terrible accident and earth is definitely missing an angel. She was the most compassionate person I have ever had the privilege of knowing, she loved everyone she knew and profoundly touched our lives.

Between the holidays and the grieving of the loss of my friend we decided to take a few cycles off and start fresh in 2009. It was definitely the right thing to do, the month of December is a blur of crying and faking smiles while celebrating the holidays.

A couple cycles had past and 2009 arrived – back to the RE. I was greeted at my first appointment of the New Year by Milton McNichol – Dr. Trolice’s new partner. It was probably the oddest thing to meet someone while lying on a table naked from the waist down (besides a sheet) and go from shaking their hand to allowing them to perform a vaginal ultrasound. Anyhow, Dr McNichols continued where Dr. T had left off – 50mg of Clomid starting on CD3 for five days with 3 shots of Menopur and back for blood work and a follie scan in a week. When I returned a week later (cd9), disappointedly it was Dr. McNichol yet again. He had issues with the ultrasound machine and at first stated that I had too many follies to proceed, then decided against that and said I didn’t have too many but my lining was much too thin to proceed with an IUI (it was a 4), and after deliberating with himself he decided to cancel the cycle because he believed that although I could wait a few days for my lining to thicken by that time I would have too many mature follies to proceed. (I was later called and told my E2 was 1004) So we would just have to have timed intercourse and pray that it would work. Disappointed, I left the office and waited a couple weeks for AF to arrive.

That brings us to this cycle. I called Dr. T’s office and requested that I only be seen by Dr. T from now on. On my cd3 visit Dr. T changed my meds to Tamoxifen (yes the chemotherapy drug normally used for breast cancer patients) instead of clomid and continued me with the booster shots of Menopur for this cycle. He believed that the Tamoxifen would improve my lining. I returned for my follie scan and blood work on CD 9 (Tuesday, February 17th). This time around my lining was an 8.5, I had three follies – two at 12mm and one at 16mm, my E2 was 405. This is the thickest my lining has ever been, before this 6 (which is the bare minimum) is the thickest I have ever been able to achieve. Everything looked good to go, I had another Menopur shot the next day (Wednesday), Thursday I had my trigger (Ovidrel) shot. Friday morning, the day of our IUI, rolled around. Dr. T was at the hospital that day and we knew we would have Dr. McNichol perform our IUI. Dr McNichol took what seemed like F-O-R-E-V-E-R to insert the catheter, Tom said it didn’t seem that long but when its your legs that are spread it’s a different story and believe me it took a lot longer then Dr. T had ever taken. I had a lot of cramping that weekend, which I have never had cramping after an IUI before… so I am hoping that it’s a good sign. This Friday, March 6th, 2009 we will be able to find out if this cycle did the trick. I am praying, and trying to stay positive without getting my hopes up. I have no symptoms or side effects at all, and although part of me wonders if that means something good or if it means exactly what it feels like – nothing, only time will tell for sure.

On a personal note in our journey, both Tom and I on separate occasions have had our own infertility breakdown since my last blog. Tom’s was first; bless his heart. We were at his Uncle’s 50th birthday party. Three of Tom’s cousins who are either in their early twenties or late teens and all unmarried were there with either a baby bump or their newborn babies. He was very upset and angry at our circumstance while sitting and watching all of the new parents who seem to take it all for granted. Mine was just last week, a day after our IUI. We were at my in-law’s house for Tom’s step father’s birthday party. At first I was fine, most of the time I can push any feelings I have aside. On that night however things were different, I had to excuse myself from the party and spend the rest of the night upstairs. Although his was mostly anger and I was a crying mess through mine we somehow persevered we were there to support each other, and I believe we are stronger in the end, stronger as a couple and individuals facing this thing called infertility.

On a happier note today is Tom and I’s third year wedding anniversary. I never thought that on our third anniversary we would be childless and facing infertility. However here we sit, learning from the obstacles on our journey to becoming parents. I know that God has given me my perfect soul mate in Tom, I couldn’t ask for a better man to spend my life with.

I can’t change the destination of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to reach my destination. ~Jimmy Dean