Teeter-Tottering

The two week wait is the period of time between ovulating and being able to take a pregnancy test to see if all of your “hard work” has paid off. I am currently in this black hole of time that seems to last forever, the time in which you over analyze every little twinge that you might actually have or make up in your mind. To make it worse there is even a website (http://www.twoweekwait.com/web/) that will not just aid in your “symptoms” but add to the neurosis of this period of time in your cycle. On this website you can check to see what a positive looks like on any pregnancy test, they have many many success stories, lists of early pregnancy symptoms, blogs, boards and quizzes. Oh, yes it is fuel to the already crazy women who are trying to conceive. I normally refuse to go onto this site, I am an anxious wreck as it is, but I admit that I occasionally wander to this site during my two week wait; I wish, hope and pray that I can one day soon become one of the success stories. Throughout this horrible time in my cycle on a daily basis not only do I drive myself crazy but I am sure I drive my husband up the wall as well. I try not to get my hopes up so that if the cycle doesn’t work I won’t be totally crushed. However, if I do not get my hopes up at all it is almost as if I am so incredibly pessimistic that I somehow feel my negative thoughts will give me a negative outcome – literally. I waiver back and forth on whether this cycle worked or was another bust. On some days I am so sure that I convince myself that I am pregnant and on other days I try to focus on what to do next since I am sure this cycle "obviously" didn’t work. It’s very hard to keep your steadiness in it all. This cycle might just be the worse one on trying to keep my balance. It was my first medicated cycle, so between the side effects from the medication that mirror pregnancy symptoms (bloated, sore breasts, hot flashes and pimples) and just the extra hope that since there were three eggs instead of one that are odds are just a little better. On the other side of that if this cycle didn’t work then maybe just maybe the doctor has a better understanding of my ovulation pattern and next month we will have perfect timing. So here I sit on a surf board of confusion trying to keep my balance on the waves of the two week wait.

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving ~ Albert Einstein