Camaraderie with Strangers

This morning I had to go back into see my RE, Dr. T, for more blood work since my first IUI was cancelled on Monday due to my progesterone levels and missed ovulation. While sitting in the office with the other 8 women, I began to think about how we were all there for one thing: to get pregnant. We all have an unspoken bond; we had invested all of our trust, faith and hope into one man, a doctor, to help us have a family of our own. Just sitting in the office I feel a little less alone then I do before walking into the door. I wondered if any of the other women were unexplained like me, how they deal with the everyday unknowing of infertility and what they did on their own before searching out medical treatment. I know where my husband and I have been, what we have tried on our own, how easy it is to obsess over every little twinge, temperature and timing. While going through this thing called infertility I have become very determined and obsessive over trying to have a baby. It isn’t something that I am proud of but it is the truth. I never knew that I carried this quality; I always prided myself in being an easy going person that goes with the flow, and more often than not without a plan. However when you have a goal that most people can attain so easily, it’s hard to think of yourself or anyone else having any obstacles to accomplish the same goal. Nevertheless one in six couples have been diagnosed with infertility, and this morning I had the unfortunate privilege of sitting with eight of them in a quiet waiting room of hope.

A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met. ~ Unknown

Starting From Scratch

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to start from scratch on a project that you started. I wish it were that easy with trying to conceive. When I first got off of birth control pills in February of 2007 I remember looking dearly into my husbands eyes so confidently telling him that "I feel so fertile". That seems so long ago, and at times it seems like yesterday but here we are a year and eight months later and still have not conceived. We were diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility in April of 2008; I couldn't be happier that we are healthy and everything looks as it should, however it is also a tough pill to swallow since there is not a clear cut answer on what is wrong and how to fix it. The road has been a little bumpy and sometimes we feel a little lost but it has brought us here like it or not.


I hope that this blog is not just a way for me to vent my frustrations or express my worries, but a way for other couples also dealing with unexplained infertility to not feel so alone when going down this path, I hope it makes the road we are traveling on seem a bit brighter. When seeing our reproductive specialist he asked how we dealt with the stress of life combined with infertility it was so nice to be able to honestly tell him that it has made our marriage stronger. Although at times I wonder why God has given us the challenge of Infertility I know that at the end of this journey when we have our precious baby we will have more patience and understanding then we did before starting on this chapter in our lives.

I set out on a narrow way many years ago Hoping I would find true love along the broken road But I got lost a time or two, Wiped my brow and kept pushing through I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you Every long lost dream led me to where you are Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars Pointing me on my way into your loving arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you ~ Rascal Flatts