I have been a bad blogger – this I know. But when your blog is overcoming infertility, and you are on a break from treatments, you get writers block and I just so happened to have had a couple of years of writers block. DH lost his job, I lost both of my Great-Grandmothers and we had lost our hope of ever affording IVF. My life didn’t apply to the blog I had began to document our infertility journey.
I am so happy to report that I am back to blogging which means that we are beginning IVF (I am in utter disbelief, even as I type this). I keep thinking we are beginning IVF#1 (ladies normally add a # behind their IVF even for their first), but NO I say that we are starting IVF with no definitive number, because one number normally follows another... and this WILL be the IVF that will begin our family ~ how do you like that for optimism?!?
~How this ‘Surprise’ IVF began~
Since DH has been unemployed, I have been Google-ing daily along with his job search for “free” or “discounted” IVF along with clinical trials. On Wednesday 9/21 I found a “Mixed Menopur” Clinical Trial that is about an hour and forty five minutes away. I had no clue what this trial would involve, and being at work I couldn’t call so I EMAILED.
That night DH and I went to the grocery store and as we walked through the aisles I told him of what my Google-ing expertise found and that it would be amazing if this was the answer we had been longing for. I had read of other women finding clinical trials where their entire IVF cycle was paid for… I will always remember this conversation between my husband and I in the deli section of the grocery store fondly. The past couple of years we rarely spoke of infertility treatments as in “possibly soon”, often times when we spoke about IVF it was ‘when’… much like when we spoke of having children of our own.
The next day I heard back from the clinic (Florida Fertility Institute) and was asked a few preliminary questions … we were qualified to continue to the next step as long as if we could afford $5,000 which would be the cost of the IVF and all of the meds. Other OOP IF’ers know how much of a steal this is. Many couples pay $5,000 on meds alone. So I told the clinical trial director that I would need to speak it over with my husband. She understood although stressed the fact that there were only 12 spots in total available at this clinic, and we were toward the end of that number. I immediately called DH, I didn’t think that it was possible. $5,000 was still a LOT of money especially on a one income family (DH, our furbaby and myself is “our family”). He said, that it could be ‘do-able’ that maybe we should speak to our families since they have offered before. DH and I really hate asking for ‘hand outs’ we are what some would call a ‘proud’ couple, but this was an opportunity we had to try and take advantage of. DH spoke to his Mother and I to mine – EVERYONE was on board! I called that Friday and was told to call the day AF shows up to being our IVF cycle. Over that weekend I remember looking at my husband and asking “are we crazy, you do not have a job, you are back in school, and this will be the closest we will ever be to starting our family…” DH took a deep breath, smiled, and said “we would be crazy if we didn’t, we have to move forward in our life”. I knew he was right and it always feels better to hear I have his support even if I already know that I have it.
I am a type A personality. This is something that I wasn't aware of until planning our wedding. I like to have a plan, and I had one for IVF. But life sometimes doesn't allow you to plan - oh another lesson that infertility has given me. If you want to make God laugh, you tell him your plans.
That Monday 9/26 we had our first 4 hour commute for IVF - we went in the office for blood work and I began BCP that day as well. The following week we went in for more tests… DH had another SA, and I had a date with the vag-cam. Although they found a fibroid on/inside my uterus (still need to find out about this) I was told it was not in the area where the baby :::swoon::: would implant and we were good to go, we were still qualified for the clinical trial! Today we visited again so that I could learn how to give myself an injection of Lupron which I will continue through stimms.
The drive is hard on both of us. We get up before the sun comes up, kiss our furbaby good bye as we make our trip to the west coast. I cannot decide the best part of our trip; when the new morning sun is reflecting off of the river on our way to the office, or on our way home when DH and I discuss with hope the possibility that our child(ren) will be conceived in the same city we spent our one year wedding anniversary.
Here are some pictures from our commute :
The Doctors Office :
CD 24
Day 22 of BCP
Nausea & Fatigue from day 1 I do not recall ever feeling so poorly on
BCP. Maybe it’s the brand, not too sure, but am so happy I only have
a few days left.
Day 1 Lupron (20units, subQ injection)
Today I was taught how to give myself a Lupron injection.
Sitting with my jeans pulled down around my knees, my
Husband to the right of me and the nurse to the left I gave
myself my very first lupron injection in my right thigh. The
injection site bled for a second, but it didn’t hurt, so you can
imagine my surprise later in the day when I found a quarter size
bruise on my thigh. I hate to think of what my thighs will look
like after a few weeks of these injections. Cramping at night, crazy
dreams and (TMI warning) dark discharge
CD25
Day 23 of BCP
Same old’ same old’… nothing new to report. Although the
thought that I will NEVER have to be on BCP does put a
smile on my face!
Day 2 of Lupron (20units, subQ injection)
This morning’s injection site did not bleed like yesterday.
Although it did burn, and itch afterward, so tomorrow
I might try preparing the syringe and letting it sit for a little
bit while I get ready for work so that it isn’t so cold.
Art must take reality by surprise ~ Francoise Sagan
